Ego

Well, I'm still sick. It is very hard for me to give up racing the Springfield 1/2 Marathon tomorrow. Exactly why is that? Is it ego? Look at me.... I'm racing a 1/2 marathon! While it wasn't one of my key races of the year, I was looking forward to seeing what I could do. I had a goal time (beating last year's time) for this hilly course. Even more opportunity for ego to shine - I can run 13.1 miles over hills and run it faster than last year.

Of course, if I run it feeling the way I do, my time will be less than impressive. So, perhaps choosing not to run is just as ego-based as choosing to run. Am I making the decision not to run out of ego or out of wisdom?

Wisdom, let's go with that (as my granddaughter Madison says). Wisdom tells me that I am getting worse, not better. Wisdom tells me that I have a very important course (Bigger Game Train the Trainer) this week in New York. In order to bring my "A" game to the course, it will be important to be healthy. The course is an important next level in my profession.

Sometimes we need to be willing to let go of something now, in order to support something bigger that awaits us. Sometimes we have to be willing to let go of our ego.

P.S. I have a doctor's appointment at 11:15 this morning. I'll let you know what I find out.

Update - bacterial bronchitis is the diagnosis. I now have antibiotics to help me get over this. I guess I'll have to continue to be in acceptance mode because I'm certainly not enjoying being sick or enthusiastic about it.