Perfection, victory, invulnerability

So, I watched the Peaceful Warrior again yesterday while doing my bike workout on the trainer. I wanted to catch some of the phrases that particularly stood out for me. It is a little difficult to write down phrases while riding at 86% of your maximum heart rate. And of course, you have the whole sweat dripping on the paper challenge - which tends to smear the ink.

The following is what I can decipher from my ink smeared piece of paper with the sloppy handwriting:

The quote I would like to explore today is; "Being a warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability. It is about absolute vulnerability.

Huh? In the world of athletics, the focus is generally about precisely those things. Running the perfect race. Obtaining victory at the finish line. Being invulnerable by avoiding injury.

There just may be an assumption to challenge in my way of thinking. Have my previous athletic goals come about as a result of perfection, victory and invulnerability? Or, have those three things actually gotten in my way?

Time to have a close encounter with the "if I really tell the truth" mirror. The truth that is reflected back to me is that being too focused on perfection, victory and invulnerability has very much been in the way.

Focusing on perfection tends to lead us to focusing on doing things as well as another person. It takes us to that "if only... I could be as good as that person" way of thinking. When I'm doing that, I'm moving further away from my goals, rather than closer to them.

Focusing on victory may have a very narrow focus. Victory may be defined as reaching a specific time goal, achieving a breakthrough in training, finishing an event, beating someone else... The greater victory may be believing in myself especially when the time goal doesn't happen, the training has a plateau or setback, or where I finish in the overall results.

Focusing on invulnerability keeps me from admitting to myself the very things that are getting in my way. To admit the vulnerabilities requires that I own my imperfections. Perfection is not obtainable.

The really scary place? I'm comfortable in the athletic world. It's much easier to accept and own how focusing on perfection, victory and invulnerability get in my way in the world of athletics. How does it get in my way in my personal life? In my relationships?

I think I'll ponder that while I go do my bike workout... :)