Why Can't We Just Be?

This morning I happened to read a blog posting written by Kristin Armstrong. She was writing the blog as a result of taking one full week off from running after she competed in the Boston Marathon. She describes having "the talk" with her relationship partner, which in this case is running. It is very well written and I encourage you to take the time to read it.

The link is:

http://milemarkers.runnersworld.com/2008/04/the-talk.html

She writes that it might be time to start seeing other people such as yoga or pilates. She considers the possibility of the toll it takes to always be such a serious couple (describing herself and her partner - running), contemplating where they are going next or what the future holds. She ends that with the question; "Why can't we just be?"

It made me laugh when I read her description of having "the talk" with her relationship with running - assuring "running" that it wasn't about him, it was about her needing a break, needing to do things differently.

I have a good friend who recently had a chance to go on a trail run in the mountains. He described looking out across a meadow, seeing snow-covered mountains and then stopping for ten minutes to appreciate his life, the gift that he can run, the view, his friends, and his family.

After reading her article, it occurred to me that it might be useful for us to have "the talk" with anything that we spend a large majority of our time in relationship with. For some, it could be work. For others, it could be an endless to-do-list. For many of us, it might be worrying. It could even be watching television. Does the television looking back at you get more of your time than other things or people in your life?

Or perhaps, "the talk" might be one that you have with refined sugar, processed foods, high fat foods or alcohol. The seeing "other people" might consist of seeing more veggies or whole grains. I can hear the conversation now:

"I know that our relationship (refined sugar) has been in place a long time. I know how much you look forward our time together, to giving me that "sugar high" followed by the inevitable "sugar low". I know that you have enjoyed the additional time you get to spend with me in the form of extra body fat. But, it is time for me to see new people in the form of green leafy vegetables.

Now I'm going to add a video into this conversation. You may wonder how the blog posting written by Kristin Armstrong and a video lecture on time management relate. I happen to think they have quite a bit in common.

Yesterday I happened to watch Randy Pausch's video of a lecture he gave at the University of Virginia on time management. You may be familiar with his "Last Lecture" presentation given at Carnegie Mellon Univeristy. Although that lecture has received a great deal of media attention and publicity, Randy Pausch says he is most proud of his lecture on time management.

He starts his speech out by saying that as a man dying of pancreatic cancer, he needs to be an expert on time management because he has a very limited amount of time left. He suggests that although many people may have a household budget, very few of us have a "time budget". We as a society have not elevated time to the same level as money. It certainly is true that if we lose money, we can always obtain more. When we waste minutes or hours of our lives, we can never get that time back again. Where are we spending our time? What are we in relationship with?

I especially liked his thoughts on doing the things right vs. doing the right thing. He says that it is so much more important to do the right things adequately than to do the wrong things beautifully.

I'm guessing that Randy Pausch would take Kristin Armstrong's article one more step. He might inquire as to whether we are choosing to spend our time on being in relationship with the things and the people that matter most.