True to My Word

As this morning dawned, it meant it was time for my 5:30 AM track workout. I didn't feel like doing it. For some reason I did not sleep well last night. I was very restless all night long, tossing and turning and unable to fall into a deep sleep. I didn't have anything on my mind. I wasn't overtired. I just couldn't sleep.

I diligently put on my running clothes and drove to the track, hopeful that I would feel more like running once I got there. I did my warm up mile and still felt less than enthused about running repeat 800's. So, I told myself that I would continue my workout until someone else showed up on the track. Then I would complete just one more 800. Someone always shows up at some point during my workout. Surely someone would show up before I completed all six of my 800 repeats.

After Repeat 1, I scanned the parking lot and area surrounding the track - no one yet. Repeat 2? No one yet, but surely they are on their way. Repeat 3? Not yet. Repeat 4? You've got to be kidding... someone is always here by now.

Five 800's later, still just me on the track. It was very warm and humid. I was tempted to stop early even though I was alone on the track. Who would know? Then, in an odd way, I realized that "no one showing up" forced me to "show up". I had a choice to quit or be true to my word.

Most of us are pretty good about following through on our word to other people. We like to think others can count on us to be true to our word. We like to believe those around us consider us to have integrity - our actions and words are true. That's the easy part.

How about the things we say to ourselves inside of our own heads? Are we as true to those statements as we are to what we say out loud to other people? I've heard it said that you should never promise something (even something seemingly very small or insignificant) unless you are sure you can deliver.

All of us know of someone who we can count on to not be on time, to not complete tasks as promised, to not show up when they said they would. So, we begin to count on not counting on them (and their word). Here's the truth.... Not only do we all know someone like that, we all are that someone at certain times and in certain situations.

I actually believe it is just important that we follow through on those things we say in the privacy of our own heads. Each time we do so, we are more in integrity with ourselves. Each time we do so, we begin to count on ourselves and believe in our own word.

So, thank you to everyone who did not show up on the track today! By doing so, you helped me show up for myself.