"This story just felt so hungry..."

Sean Penn directed the movie "Into the Wild", a project he worked on for nearly a decade. He was quoted as saying; "This story just felt so hungry to be made into a movie". Even though there were roadblocks (obtaining the movie rights) along the way, he also said; "I always felt, one way or another, it was going to happen".

So what is it, in my life or your life, that feels so hungry that it can't not happen? What is it that even knowing there will be obstacles and roadblocks along the way, that we no will happen? That we know must happen?

Into the Wild was inspired by the true story of Christopher McCandless. Christopher was an Emory University graduate who set out on a quest to Alaska. He traveled across the United States from West Virginia searching for a meaningful and authentic life. Abandoning his money, possessions, family and a conventional lifestyle, he moved from state to state with the ultimate "North" destination as his guiding star.

Along the way he meets many interesting people, including Ron Franz, an aging widower. Ron has a small workshop where he does leather work. He teaches Christopher how to do leather engraving. One of the scenes that I found striking was the one where Christopher shows Ron the belt he has engraved. The engraving chronicles his travels, depicting the various places he has been from the grain fields of South Dakota, the Grand Canyon, the Colorado River, etc.

That got me to thinking about what I would engrave on a similar belt. Where are the most defining places I've been - the places that have made me who I am today, left a lasting impact in terms of their beauty...? What events of my life, both the difficult ones and the peak moments, would I choose to represent on the leather?

One of the quotes from the movie that captured my attention was when Christopher said to Ron; "The core of man's spirit comes from new experiences". Another one was a quote by Henry David Thoreau that seemed to impact Christopher's philosophy of life; "Rather than love, then money, than fame, give me truth".

Eckhart Tolle says it this way in his book "A New Earth":

"Space consciousness represents not only freedom from ego, but also from dependency on the things of this world, from materialism and materiality. It is the spiritual dimension which alone can give transcendent and true meaning to this world.

The sound track of the movie, especially the instrumental songs, also moved me. It reminded me of a CD I picked up while traveling to the Burlington, Vermont marathon several years ago. My friend Diana and I listened to what we referred to as our "traveling music" as we drove through the Green Mountains.

So there is this yearning for traveling, for new experiences, new sights, freedom from conventionality that is within me. Perhaps that is why the movie appealed to me so much. A quote by Tolstoy used in the movie says it like this:

"I have lived through much and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet, secluded life in the country with the possibility of being useful to people..."

(In case you haven't figured it out, Into the Wild was the movie I watched this past weekend while riding my bike on the trainer.)

Found

You might be wondering what movies I have been watching during my long rides on the trainer. On Sunday, March 16th I watched the movie "August Rush". This movie is about a young musical prodigy who is trying to find his parents. He has spent his life in an orphanage and at the prospect of being moved to another facility decides to "follow the music" to find his parents. I loved many things about this movie. As the young boy moves through the busy streets of New York City, he hears music in the everyday sounds of the city. He composes the fluttering of the flags, the rattling of a plastic bottle rolling along the pavement and other sounds of the city, into music in his head. So one can hear "noise" or "music" depending on their perspective. Depending on how you choose to listen it can sound like chaos or beautiful music.

Along the way, the boy encounters a man who encourages his quest to develop his musical abilities and holds him back at the same time. He does ask a profound question, when he asks the boy what he wants to be. The boy responds; "Found". That line really struck me. I believe that is all that any of us really want. We want to be found.

I've started reading Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth". He talks about the difference between form-based attention and formless attention. In the context of parenting he describes form-based attention on one's child as the focus on doing or evaluating in some way. He gives examples of this - "Have you done your homework? Eat your dinner. Tidy up your room. Brush your teeth. Do this. Stop doing this. Hurry up and get ready."

It's not that he believes form-based attention isn't necessary. He states that there is a place and a time for it. He goes on to say that if form-based attention is the only component of the relationship between parent and child, the most vital dimension (being) is missing. He refers to "formless attention" as the alertness, the stillness, the listening, the looking... the being present with your child.

As Tolle describes it:

"The longing for love that is in every child is the longing to be recognized, not on the level of form (doing), but on the level of Being. If the parents honor only the human dimension of the child, but neglect the Being, the child will sense that the relationship is unfulfilled, that something absolutely vital is missing, and there will be a buildup of pain in the child and sometimes unconscious resentment towards the parents. "Why don't you recognize me?"

For me the formula looks like this:

Recognized (at the being level) = Found.

When I consider what Tolle is writing about, it occurs to me that form-based attention focus within a relationship vs. formless attention within a relationship is equally important in any relationship. It is what allows us to be found.

The Difference One Word Can Make

Ah yes, I seem to be in a pattern here. Posting on my blog several times a week and then disappearing for a week or ten days. I could ask myself if this theme is running through any other areas of my life - showing up and then disappearing. However, rather than focus on that question, I'll let you know what I have been up to lately.

In my last posting, I talked about Horton the Elephant. I actually decided to draw on Horton the Elephant for a recent presentation. I was asked to speak to a group of "offenders" at a women's prison. I find this choice of wording interesting. Although I didn't ask the reason for the use of the word offender rather than inmate or prisoner, I have come up with my own theory. Inmate or prisoner implies something we have done to the person - we have imprisoned you. It puts accountability on those who carry out the sentence, rather than placing it on the "offender". Offender, on the other hand, places the responsibility on the individual who has committed the offense.

Even though this seems like a small thing, it really got me thinking. The use of one word instead of another word seems to have a significant impact. My guess is that we all fall into the trap of using words that move us away from accountability rather than closer to it. Example? The word "try". I will "try" to ______. Already the implication is that it most likely won't happen. Another example is the word "hope". I "hope" I will _______. Again, this implies less than optimal confidence in the outcome.

With that observation, I'll continue with my story.

I would be speaking to a group of approximately 75-100 women. The group would consist of women with less than one year remaining of their sentence, to women with up to 19 years remaining. The education level and age would vary greatly as well.

I spent a lot of time considering what I might say to these women that would give everyone something they could apply to their life regardless of their situation. The more I thought about it, the more daunting the task seemed to be. Then I decided it was time to just quit thinking.

Generally when I give a speech or a presentation I draw upon what has occurred during the week leading up to my talk. I find that life has a way of giving me something that ties in quite nicely. In this case it was Horton the Elephant.

I took a stuffed Horton the Elephant and the book to read. I began my speech by asking the women who they recalled from recent speakers that impacted them and why. The responses were very insightful and articulate. I then produced Horton from my canvas bag, and propped him up on the front of the podium. I asked if any of the speakers had brought in a stuffed animal and a children's book yet. No one had, so my idea at least was original.

I was prepared to go with the flow and change directions at any point along the way. I didn't even know if I would read the entire story. As it turned out, I alternated reading a bit of the story, interspersing the life coaching content of my speech, and then returning back to the story.
The approach seemed to work well. I can't really know what the impact of my presentation was on the group. I know the group left an impact on me.

I left with the realization that the prison population is a growing and forgotten segment of the population. And, these are some amazing individuals. Like the tiny voice that Horton the Elephant heard on that tiny speck of dust, these women have voices that long to be heard. Maybe that is a large part of the reason why they are where they are. At the time when they most needed to be heard, no one was listening. I would guess that after a certain length of time when the voice becomes still or worse yet, hardened.

What is our responsibility? If we use our Horton the Elephant ears, what voices might we hear calling out?

Horton Hears a Who

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss

I happened to be watching American Idol on Wednesday evening, when the cameras showed Jim Carrey sitting in the audience. What made him stand out from the crowd, other than the fact he is a celebrity, was the fact he was wearing an elephant costume. Obviously this was to promote his new movie coming out - "Horton Hears a Who". What I loved about the way he sat in the audience was how completely at ease he was, with his huge elephant feet sticking out in the aisle, his elephant ears bumping into the person next to him... I love the joyful energy he exudes. It seems to me that he is perfectly ok being exactly who he is, wherever he is, regardless of what others might think. He sat there holding the pink clover flower in case he needed to hear what the speck of dust had to say.

I want to go see "Horton Hears a Who", partly to take my two granddaughters to see it, but just as importantly because I want to see it. Horton the Elephant may have some lessons for all of us - lessons about the importance of listening. Horton hears a voice on that very small speck of dust. He keeps that speck of dust safe by placing it gently on a clover. Horton soon discovers that there may be people living on that tiny speck of dust. Horton believes that a person is a person no matter how small.

In the story, it takes one last voice - the voice of a little girl named Jo-Jo in order for the voices of the people of Whoville to be heard. One small voice makes the difference.

One of my favorite books is "Let Your Life Speak" by Parker J. Palmer. He talks about the importance of listening,referring specifically for the voice of vocation. (I think Horton would have been very good at this since he heard the voices of the Who people on that very tiny speck of dust.)

I love the question Parker Palmer poses - Is the life I am living the same life that wants to live in me?

"Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you."

Palmer's philosophy is that vocation does not come from willfulness, but rather from listening. The word vocation actually comes from the Latin word for "voice". Vocation is different from a goal a person has for their career. It has to do with listening for the calling from the voice within each of us. It is not about what we do. It is about who we are.

Parker adds the following:

"Vocation at its deepest level is "This is something I can't not do, for reasons I'm unable to explain to anyone else and don't fully understand myself, but that are nonetheless compelling."

If you were to listen to that tiny speck of dust on that pink clover, what would it be whispering about your life to you?

Go Out on a Limb - That's Where the Fruit Is!

Those who know me well know that I've always wanted a treehouse. One of my coaching clients, who did not know this fact about me, sent me a card with the following message on it:

"Dream big," she said. "For example, I dream of one day building myself a grand treehouse to live in, and having flowers and chocolate brought up every morning. Anything can happen you know."

I'm not sure what it is exactly that intrigues me so much about a treehouse. Part of it has to do with the climbing up and looking at things from a new perspective. Part of it has to do with escaping conventionalism - perfectly sane people don't live in treehouses do they?

There are two intentions I am putting out into the world as I write this.

1) I want to stay in a treehouse. I happen to know there are "treehouse" hotels that you can stay in. This, of course, will be a precursor to having my very own tree house someday.

Some treehouse hotel options include Waipi'o Treehouse Hotel on the Big Island in Hawaii, the Cedar Creek Treehouse near Mt. Ranier National Park, or the Treehouse Lodge in Thailand's Khao Sok National Park.

2) I want to go on a zip line through the trees. I am somewhat (truth be told - a lot) afraid of heights, especially when my feet are not firmly planted on something while I'm up there. So.... I know that I would be afraid on a high ropes course or about to go down a zip line.

(Did you happen to catch the self-limiting word in the above sentence? I "would" be afraid.... That implies that if I actually did it, but that it is unlikely that I will. Let's change that sentence to read; "I know I will be afraid on a high ropes course or about to go down a zip line". That implies I am going to do it! And I am.)

I can't think of anything more freeing. Possibly these two intentions happen at the same time - staying in the treehouse and having access to a zip line or high ropes course.

So I've gone out on a limb and announced one of my big dreams. What big dream do you have inside of you that others don't know about yet? What wild and crazy idea would you love to live out?

Bringing big dreams into reality requires more than just having the dream. It requires action steps. Do any of you who might be reading this happen to have access to a treehouse? Just in case you don't, I am committing to bring this dream into reality by the end of 2008. Time to start researching viable options...

What did you do for Progression Day?

*First a note - I have not published a post for over 10 days. That is not to say I haven't been writing. I have, in fact, written three blog postings. I've written them in my head - where I do all of my writing before it turns up on paper or a computer screen. The titles of the three postings are:

What did you do for Progression Day? (Publishing date in my head - March 4th)
Go out on a limb - that's where the fruit is! (Publishing date in my head - March March 7th)
What if you lost everything and everyone that is important to you? (Publishing date - today)

I have wonderful Life Coaching clients. One of my clients in particular is searching for how she might inspire others. She inspired me today. She inspired me to take the time to move the ideas/thoughts from my head and publish them for others to read. It's easy to get caught up in thinking my writing is something I do only for myself. It allows me to gain clarity, process my thoughts, reflect and remind myself of what is important. This client happened to mention that she had read something from one of my blog postings and had been thinking about the message.

Hmmm.... What if part of my message or purpose is to help other's find their own message, purpose, voice? What if by my publishing my ideas and thoughts, I inspire others to do the same? A special thank you today to the one who inspired me to get writing this week.


My sister is a physical therapist. Two weekends ago she shared a physical therapist joke. (It's the first time she has done that - who knew there were jokes for her field?) She asked what I was doing on Tuesday. Tuesday? I searched my memory for the significance of Tuesday. I came up empty - no one's birthday, not a holiday.... What was she talking about? She replied; "You know, for Progression Day". Progression Day? I'll bite. What is Progression Day?

March 4th (Get it? March forth.) Physical therapists are very focused on progression in their patients. Her joke conveyed to me that our career paths are not that unalike. We are both in the business of progression.

So on that note, how did you celebrate Progression Day? What ideas, thoughts, or new behavior patterns did you move forth? What idea keeps tapping you on the shoulder, hoping you'll finally do something about it? What's the mission that just won't leave you alone?

There is a message inside of you. It may be hiding away in the corner of you. Imagine a closet that is full of all the stuff you've accumulated over the years. You may have to dig and dig through it to find the treasure that is there in the corner.

I like this quote:

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~ Joseph Campbell

So March "4th" into the life that is waiting for you. And if you've already marched forth - congratulations. Keep on marching.